When Heaven Smiles

MATTA Band’s songs played on Winamp. Emma has been recently obsessed with the Indonesian band, though the songs are mostly referred to heartbreaks or unrequited love except for Playboy. It’s not the lyrics but probably the simple beat she liked. Emma has no time to feel depressed at the moment. She was one lady in love – madly, deeply in love.

She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. A gentle wind touched her face, a silent night…and a slight tug of her hair that woke her up. She opened her eyes immediately to see the Lord next to her. “Care to go for a walk?” He reached out his hand. Emma hesitated at first but agreed almost immediately. What could go wrong, anyway?

“Err…Lord, Father if I may call you, where are we going to this time?”

“You can call me both. Oh, we’re just going out for a walk in the night. You like nights, don’t you?”

“Oh, okay. Hmm yeah, I like night-time.”

“So you like the darkness?”

“Err…not exactly. I like nights because it’s that time where I can sleep and have sweet dreams of…you know.”

“I do know.”

Emma looked around her and realized they were in a place she was a stranger to. The sky may be dark but the moon was bright. The street lamps glow in warm, white light. Fireflies hovered in the air. The stars twinkled gaily above them.

“How do you like the scenery, my child?” The Lord asked suddenly.

“It’s beautiful. You did a great job on this, Lord.”

“And what do you think of it?”

“Hmm… May I get a house built here, for me? And can you tell me where exactly this place is so I can move here?”

“It’s in your mind, my child. You don’t need to move here. You’re here all the time.”

“What? I never saw this place before…”

“You’ve never been this much in love before.”

Emma stopped and turned to the Lord. Her face drew a confused soul, a soul with a thousand questions that came down to one.

“You mean…”

“What do you think I mean?”

“Err…well…”

The Lord beckoned her to sit on a nearby bench next to a fountain. The fountain’s statue was that of a few cherubs with their cute, little hands cupped in the water. They were smiling as they watched Koi fishes swam under their legs and over their cupped hands. Emma put one of her fingers in the water. It was refreshingly cold. Then her fingers drew ripples on the water surface. There was a sweet scent coming from the fountain. It was a scent she failed to name but it certainly filled her soul…with Love.

“Tell me, my child…” said the Lord. “Tell me, what do you feel now?”

Emma kept quiet for a while. “I feel…happy. Happy beyond my own understanding.”

“Child, this Caine guy is amazing, isn’t he? He could make you smile when other guys failed. You used to smile in pretence, remember? He could make you smile even in your gloomiest day.”

“He is amazing because you made him to be, Lord.”

“And because you finally understand what it is like to be in love. You understand what it means to be in love.”

“With your guidance, Lord, I certainly do.”

“You see, child, whenever you are happy and this wonderful place will always be within you. It will never fade. Are you two, well, dating?”

“I don’t dare to say we are. As far as I am concerned, I’m so much in love with him. I don’t know his side of the story though. But he has been good to me, extraordinarily good.”

“He’s more reserved than I thought him to be.”

“Huh?”

“It was his choice to be reserved. And he put his mind to good use too.”

“That’s one of the things I love about him…he has deep thoughts. He taught me a lot of things.”

“Like noticing those little things you always overlooked?”

“Yes, he did.”

They both laughed.

“Lord, don’t worry. I will do all I can to keep this feeling alive. It’s so beautiful I can’t let the flames die just like that.”

“So it’s Caine now, eh? What about Ryan?”

Her smile left her face. Emma sighed.

“Lord, I didn’t mean to hurt him…it’s just that with him, I’m more depressed than ever. I tried to help him, Lord, because I believe when we love someone, we should try to give him the support he needed. I gave and gave. I didn’t expect him to return it as much as I gave him but it would be nice if for once, he could actually say something that would cheer my day instead of making it gloomy… I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to hurt him…”

“I told you before, my child, that no one who loves has lived unhurt.”

“What if he hates me? I think he already does from the way he thinks I’m not satisfied with what he gave me… It’s not that I’m not satisfied, Lord. I just need a guy who would smile at me with gentle words when I am down. I need someone who could make me move further into my future instead of distracting from plans. I need someone who would tell me love is not easy as you said it, but still be there when I least expected it. People have told me I’m matured beyond my years and I noticed that from just how old-fashioned yet open my mind is… I need a guy who could and would share my thoughts yet at the same time, reminding me of the world we live in…Caine is such a guy. He really has taught me a lot, you know…”

“It’s natural that Ryan felt hurt but let us hope that he learnt something valuable to thank you for in the future.”

“Hmm… I don’t know about that…”

“Not everyone is fortunate to meet the love of their life at first try. All you can do now is have faith and don’t hurt Caine if you think he is worth it. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“Alright, you should go to sleep now. You have mass to attend tomorrow.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah…” Suddenly she was back in her own cosy room. It was 35 minutes past 10. She should have been in bed, tucked under her blanket by now. Emma walked to switch off the lights. Just as she reached the switch she blinked her eyes in disbelief. A picture of her Saviour was looking at her and seemed to be smiling. She blinked again but the picture has returned to normal. But Emma smiled.

Deep in her heart she was grateful to be in love. She was grateful that this love was real and true. Emma closed her eyes as she lay on her bed and envisioned the garden she was in earlier with the Lord. The Lord was standing by the fountain, smiling. Emma felt strange warmth in her heart. She knew when the Lord smiled at her, heaven was smiling too.

Slowly, in her happy thoughts of thankfulness, she dozed of into the night.

Gabriel as always, was standing by the door. He closed the door behind him and joined Emma in her sleep. He wondered for how much longer he will be her Guardian, now that Caine seemed to be doing his work for her. Somehow Gabriel was glad it was Caine she fell in love with. He has seen him. He has heard him.

If Emma would send him home, Gabriel wouldn’t mind if it was in Caine’s arms he’ll be leaving her.

But that was a thought for another day, another time.

For now, they sleep.