When You Would Not Listen

“You hate it when I call you right? What’s with the busy excuses and insufficient air time? Aren’t you worried when I did not contact you these last few days? I could have died. You would care less, right? You’re the only thing I have but I feel I have nothing.”

Emma blinked as she read the text message she received from Ryan. The snow globe Daniel gave her was broken…accidentally. Its glass shattered but the snowman was still attached to its red glove base. She reread the message. Last time guilt would consume her mercilessly. Like wild fire guilt would spread in her veins.

Infuriation grabbed hold of her now. Her old self was knocking, crying, shouting for freedom. Too long has it been trapped inside…and it wanted to be free again.

“You know, Ryan, this is exactly the kind of negative aura I’m running away from. It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s your negativity. I know I should be there when you need me but…before me you were doing alright. Since you got me, you’re falling deeper into that damn emotional canyon. I have been there for you. Always. I’m sorry but we were never meant to be. Love was supposed to make us stronger. I’ve weaken you…in a bad way. I’ve weaken you so much that you kept on accusing me of hurting you. For once, do stop it and think. Perhaps…maybe…it was me who was hurting all this while. I am sad enough that my presence in your life didn’t change you for the better nor did it helped you to maintain your ways as the guy I once fell in love with. No, Ryan. Instead it made you worst. I knew I had to run when I began to feel the pressure of being a lonely pillar to you. I had to. Or I’d die living a lie. I’d die betraying myself.”

Her fingers stopped. She erased her message and decided to sleep. Gabriel knocked her on her head.

“Aren’t you going to send it to him?” He asked, yawning. Ryan’s call had waked him up.

“I think not, Gabe. The more I try to tell him, the more he’s making me sound like the worst human ever to live.” Emma lay on her back, her Guardian by her side.

“So…you’re just going to shake him off your life like that?”

“It’s safer that way…I’m not being mean, am I?”

“Nah, it’s just the truth. Love’s a give-take policy. Without it, it’s not Love at all.”

“I really don’t want to hurt anyone…”

“What’s that? Em, you’re the one hurting here. After so many reckless, foolish words said to you, it’s about time you take leave.”

“I know…”

“…Caine’s asleep?”

“I guess so…”

“He’s more worth it. Trust me.”

“I know…”

“Em, sometimes, we just have to let go…”

Emma closed her eyes. With that all fond memories of the few times she spent with Ryan were erased. It hurt her but she had to. She wasn’t going to let anyone keep her from Love. Sure they talked about commitment but if you can’t see yourself spending a future together, what’s there to it?

Gabriel gently ran his fingers down her hair. “Em…let it go. Let him go.”

“I have…long ago…”

Eyes still closed, Emma felt as if she heard Caine whispering softly to her a silent promise…

I knew you love me…

Caine’s words last Christmas echoed in the caves of her mind. The last thing she saw before her soul fleeted into the land of dreams was Caine smiling.

Em, I knew it. I was aware. I know you love me.

You know, Ryan, Emma thought. I told you I’d slip away if you’re not careful and you never listened…