“I guess you’re not her then.”
Emma looked at Mike from the corner of her eyes. The words of the 11-years old were hard to gulp. He is still a kid but it is what worries her. Caine was, after all, a bit close to them then he was with her. And whatever they say could be the cold, harsh truth she was trying to avoid. Jon told Mike to shut up and tried to assured Emma it was nothing.
But how could she think it was nothing?
“…because he said…”
“Mike, shut up! You got it wrong!”
Jon who had many experiences than Emma knew it was not good for her. To prove him right, she was stunned with silence, only smiling. She laughed watching the family video but it was an empty laugh.
“Hey,” said Jon. “I don’t think Mike’s telling the truth. What does he know? He’s only a kid,” said the 13-years old. He talked softly, knowing that somehow Mike’s words hit the bull’s-eye in Emma’s heart. “Mike,” Emma said slowly. “What did he say?”
“Err…nothing,” was the only replied.
Now, she was both furious and agitated. She was furious because Caine should have told her if anything comes up, whatever his decision is. She was agitated because it seemed to her that kids knew better about her and Caine than she does herself. It felt uneasy hearing those kids asking her “What if…?”s and telling her Caine has other plans in mind. It was…maddening.
Jon decided to change the topic and asked Emma how it all started. But little did he know that his question was only bringing up memories now haunted by Mike’s words earlier. Father Time was kind tonight, however. Caine called on Emma so they could go home. She sprung off her feet immediately and headed for the car.
In the car, all Emma could think of was the truth in what Mike has just told her. She has her doubts but her heart remained firm in believing Caine. She trusted him to tell her of things, anything that matters as long as it is about them. Her head was not so cooperative, discouraging her heart with every second passed.
Tonight was a short ride. They reached home within a few minutes…
“Caine…” she whispered as she got down from the car.
He looked at her.
She shrugged and smiled.
He smiled back and drove home.
Emma smiled at her mother and went upstairs to her room. With a sigh, she sent a text to Caine, wishing him good night. He replied, to her relieve. And then she heaved another sigh.
I guess you’re not her then.
Mike’s little voice kept on replaying in her head. There was something about it that made her uneasy. Now she began to question herself tons of “What if…?”s.
Tonight…
…sleep won’t come easy to one girl crazy in love.
Lord, where are you? Give me a sign if this is how it was meant to be. Tell me so I could swallow Truth with ease. I love him, Lord. You knew it, didn’t you? You warned me this would hurt…yes, it hurts so much. It hurts because right now I don’t know which to follow anymore. Yes, it is one of my tantrums again…tantrums of my heart, war with my mind. This is my soul crying out to you… I need a sign, just a flicker will do.
As Emma lay on her bed, warm tears rolled down her cheeks. More tears welled in her eyes as her lips mumbled a prayer like a lost child calling out to her father. Then came a hand, wiping away her tears. Her blanket rustled. She felt another weight lying next to her.
“Emma…?”
It was the voice of her dearest being.
“Emma, is everything okay?” Gabriel whispered in question. She nodded slowly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Caine…”
“Emma, listen to me. You weren’t born to bow down to your head but to follow your heart. It’s just how you are from the very start. Listen, my dear…”
“…I love him…”
“…then love him…”
“…but it hurts…”
“…it hurts so you know this is true. It hurts because you know it’s true. It hurts because you now understand…”
“…but my friends are happy…”
“Then they will know soon. If it doesn’t hurt, it is not true…only when you feel the pain in your heart, your soul, never mind the head, will you understand how dear someone is to you. The head is easy to stray. The heart will always be tempted but please, persevere through the ordeal. In the end, your soul will rejoice, no matter what happens by then.”
“Gabe…what if Mike was telling the truth?”
“What is the truth you are seeking for, dear lady? What is the truth you are yearning for?”
“I…”
“You seek for the impossible truth; you seek his decision without you in his life yet you yearn for another truth. You yearn for the truth where it is possible for you to be together.”
“…because I…”
“Get a hold of yourself!” Emma was surprised. It was the first time Gabriel has ever raised his voice at her. She stopped sobbing.
“Emma, listen, do you love him?” Her Guardian asked, now with a softer voice.
She nodded.
“…then, my dear lady,” he whispered. “Love him…”
Slowly, Gabriel closed her eyes and led her into sleep, releasing her soul into her Sanctuary – a land untouchable by worldly stains. Slowly he led her into a land of reflections where she will finally be in touch completely with her heart and its cries of emotions.
“You are still young, Emma,” Gabriel whispered as she slept. “Love has taken favour in you. She is revealing herself to you. Your heavenly Father loves you indeed…be at rest now and we’ll talk in the morning.”
Emma mumbled.
Dawn was approaching.
